I don’t do resolutions. They stink of failure. just waiting to be broken and open up that chance to beat myself up. Instead I make a plan at the start of each year.

Every year for as long as I remember (as an adult) I have started the new year with some plans across different aspects of my life. I figure it’s good to give myself a little direction. I wrote about this last year, and a few years earlier. Life in its unpredictable way ensures that I need to keep adjusting these plans.

First thing I do when I’m thinking about the year ahead is to reflect, which I have done some of already here and privately. Then I look at different areas in my life (spiritual, physical, mental, relationship, educational and career) and look at how I might fulfill their needs.

This year Elizabeth Gilbert‘s book, Big Magic, will influence some of my planning as it is still so fresh in my mind. While I was reading the book, I also listened to her podcast when my son was in hospital. The idea of ensuring thatI nourish myself with my creativity hit home hard at a time when I felt like my life was disappearing in front of me. There was one moment when I was sitting in the car – ostensibly watching another son play tennis – listening to the podcast. It was speaking so true to me that when the coach knocked on the car window to talk about the lessons he was shocked to see me wet faced and red eyed. ‘I’ll talk to you later,’ he said.

Prioritising me, which is what Elizabeth was talking about at that moment, is something that has never sat comfortably with me. Even more so once I became a parent. As the years have gone on (it’s over 16 years now) there has been this longing awakening, tugging, inside me. It’s a longing to remember me. To remember what it is that I need to be a full person. And each time I feel like I’m starting to do it the threads holding the family together seem to loosen.

So one of my plans this year is to plan for a better balance between being a carer and caring for me. I’m not really sure what that looks like at this stage other than ensuring I give myself time to create, and create crap as well as the odd good sentence. I also want to ensure that I give myself time to be with my friends, to laugh, cry and enjoy their company. I do know that if I look at each of those areas (spiritual, physical, mental, relationship, educational and career) I should be able to strike a healthy balance for me.

How do you approach your start of the year? Are you a planner? A resolution type? Or are you just winging it?

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